DHSculley

"I don't believe this," Crikit groaned, "Can't this line move any faster?"

Since "Tenchi Muyo!" was no longer on the signpost of top ten anime series, Crikit and the rest of our heroes couldn't use one of the simple shortcut roads to reach GenSao's TMFFA Kingdom. Instead, they were forced to stand in an incredibly long line for the single elevator that everyone had to use to get to all the non-top-ten anime series.

"Geez," said Lost Magi, "Yayoi would have a fit if she found out that the only way to reach the Idol Defense Force Hummingbird section was a lousy freight elevator."

"She'd probably have an even bigger fit if she saw how incredibly small the IDF Hummingbird section is," said BGlanders. Frowning, he added, "Ryoke, we're running out of time! Can't you just use your teleportation spell to take us to GenSao?"

"I can't," Little Ryoko (AKA Ryoke) replied sadly, "I can only cast that spell once every 24 hours."

Everyone sighed and went back to waiting. And waiting. And w...a...i...t...i...n...g... It felt as if the line moved forward only a few inches every hour, and it certainly didn't help that it was very hot. The guy in front of them kept sweating, and more he sweated, the worse his body odor became. The stench finally got so bad that PA fainted, and when the rest of our heroes crowded around the poor diplomat to see if he was okay, a whole bunch of people came along and took their spot in the line!

"This is driving me crazy!" Kale exclaimed.

"Try to have patience," said fuzzy_bunny, reaching into a jar and pulling out a pickled carrot to munch on, "In order to be prepared for anything, you must remain calm and focused... Aaaaaah!" fuzzy_bunny jumped so high into the air that he crashed into a flock of birds, which pecked at him and snatched the carrot from his hand. "@#$%^&*$%!!!" he exclaimed upon landing.

"Hey!" said PA, who had fully recovered from his fainting spell, "Watch your @#$%ing language! Just because I talk like that, doesn't mean you can!"

"I'll talk however the #$%@ I please!" fuzzy_bunny shouted, upset at the loss of the pickled carrot.

"WAIT A MINUTE!" The Unknown DJ shouted, trying to catch their attention, "What startled you in the first place, fuzzy_bunny?"

"I think it was me," a voice said from behind them. Everyone turned around to see a red-haired woman who looked a lot like Dana Scully from the X-Files. "I must have surprised him when I tapped him on the shoulder. Sorry about that."

"It's okay," said fuzzy_bunny, smiling politely, "No real harm done..." He then noticed the purple leaf-shaped pin on the woman's collar. "Oh, you're an R.O.P.A.A agent, too!"

"That's right," said the woman, nodding, "My name is DHSculley, and I'm investigating an evil conspiracy involving bad lemon fan fics."

"Oh, now I remember you!" said fuzzy_bunny, "You're pink_powder_puff, right?"

"For crying out loud, don't use my honor name!" DHSculley exclaimed, "I never use that ridiculous name in public!"

"Why is it that no R.O.P.A.A agents want to use their honor names except me?" fuzzy_bunny mumbled to himself.

"At any rate," said DHSculley, "Now that I've found you, we can work together. I discovered that whoever's behind the evil conspiracy wants to corrupt the fan fics in the TMFFA Kingdom. They'll start by turning all the good lemon fics into bad, tasteless lemons, and then the evil energy will spread to ALL the fics there! We have to stop them!" With that, DHSculley reached into her pocket and pulled out a small object about the size and shape of a business card. Crikit and her companions crowded around and saw that the object had a small white rectangle on it, and next to it was a gray button that had the word "Search" on it.

"What is it?" Kale asked.

"This is a search engine," DHSculley replied, "I'll use it to take us to the TMFFA Kingdom right away."

"Yay!" everyone cheered.

"GenSao," DHSculley said to the search engine. The word "GenSao" appeared in the white rectangle, and DHSculley pressed the "Search" button. Multicolored lights swirled around our heroes, and a moment later they all disappeared.

Not long after that, there was a swirling of multicolored lights in front of the TMFFA castle. When it vanished, it left Crikit and the rest of her team in its place.

"We're here!" Crikit exclaimed. She then glanced around, and noticed that someone was missing. "Wait a minute... where's Kale?"

"I'm right here," a small voice said beside her ear.

Crikit blinked in surprise. A small creature was on her shoulder. It looked like a chipmunk, except that it was yellow with black spots and had a long tail, which it had wrapped around her shoulders. "Kale? What happened to you?" she asked.

"I am now Kale-chib-ki, another one of my forms," said Kale (or rather, Kale-chib-ki), "This is my cheemunk form: created from a mix of cheetah DNA, minerals, Masu, and a Juraian space tree seed."

"But... why are you in this form now?" said Crikit.

"I was just tired of standing," said Kale-chib-ki, making his eyes as large and cute-looking as possible, "Is it okay if I stay on your shoulders for a while? If not, I can turn into a speedy little spaceship while in this form, but it's not as cute."

"Wait a minute..." said Crikit, narrowing her eyes and frowning, "You could have just turned into a spaceship at any time, and flown us here, but instead you had us all standing in that lineup for hours?!"

"Um... er... oops..." Kale-chib-ki said sheepishly.

"Why you little..." Crikit grabbed Kale-chib-ki off her shoulders, and proceeded to swing him around by his four-foot-long tail.

"Aaaaaaaah! I'm sorrrrrrryyyyyy!" Kale-chib-ki yelped as he was swung around.

"That's enough, you two!" DHSculley said sharply, "We have an important mission right now!"

Crikit and Kale-chib-ki muttered several apologies and followed the others as they slipped into the castle by using a secret door that The Unknown DJ knew about (after all, he was one of GenSao's most trusted subjects). Our heroes walked down a dark corridor, until DHSculley stopped and opened a trapdoor.

The Unknown DJ looked down through the opening. "That's GenSao's main computer down there!" he said, recognizing the sight before him, "What do you want to do here?"

"Whoever's behind the conspiracy wants to corrupt all the major kingdoms," DHSculley replied, "They're starting with the TMFFA, RFFC, and Atomic Anime kingdoms. That's why the leaders of those three kingdoms have been imprisoned in a bad lemon fic. While GenSao is trapped in some tasteless lemon someplace, all the fics in his kingdom will be turned into bad lemons."

"So what can we do?" asked Lost Magi.

"Someone will have to be lowered down, past GenSao's security systems, to put this into his main computer," DHSculley replied, taking a disk out of her pocket.

"What is it?" asked BGlanders.

"It's a special program developed by fellow R.O.P.A.A agent little_sugar_patootie," fuzzy_bunny explained, recognizing the disk. He removed a pickled carrot from his jar and took a bite out of it before continuing, "It's called the Uber Ranter. It can thwart any bad fic in record time."

"That's right," said DHSculley, nodding, "Once this is installed into GenSao's computer, the evil from the bad lemons will be contained (and therefore unable to spread to the other fics in the kingdom)."

"I volunteer to be the one to install it," said fuzzy_bunny.

"Are you sure?" asked DHSculley, "GenSao's security is very tight."

"Don't worry about me," said fuzzy_bunny, "I can handle it."

"Wow, you're so brave!" said Ryoke, her eyes sparkling, "You're willing to do anything for our cause!"

"Sure," said fuzzy_bunny, smiling brightly, "Well... that, and I dropped my pickled carrot through the opening, so I might as well go down there."

"Oh," was all Ryoke could think of saying in reply.

"The carrot landed on the computer," The Unknown DJ remarked, "That's fine, but don't let anything touch the floor while you're down there. It'll set off the alarm, and I don't know what GenSao's security systems will do to you if that happens."

With that, DHSculley and The Unknown DJ strapped fuzzy_bunny into a special harness, and then began to lower him down to GenSao's computer.

"Isn't there a scene like this in a movie?" asked BGlanders.

"Yep," said Lost Magi, "And there are a bazillion parodies of this thing already! This has been done to death!"

"Who the @#$% would subject us to this kind of #%$@ yet again, for crying out loud?!" PA exclaimed.

BGlanders, Lost Magi, and PA all turned to glare at the authors of this AFC bio. ^^;;;

"Steady, steady..." fuzzy_bunny murmured to himself, twisting around in his harness to avoid the various traps between himself and GenSao's computer.

After several harrowing moments, fuzzy_bunny was suspended right above the computer. After several more moments, fuzzy_bunny successfully installed the Uber Ranter program. "Whew!" he sighed in relief, "And now, time for a well-deserve pickled carrot break!" With that, he retrieved his pickled carrot from the top of the computer, and bit into it.

"Delicious," he murmured happily. A tiny crumb of carrot fell from his mouth and landed on the floor. "Oops..." he murmured, as alarms sounded and bright red lights on the walls began to flash.

"ARGH!" the rest of our heroes shouted from above the computer room.

"Well, he's probably a goner," The Unknown DJ said sadly, "I don't know what GenSao's security system will do to him, but... Uh-oh, here it comes..."

A portal opened behind fuzzy_bunny, and a snarling panda leapt out. "Who's tampering with my fan fic archive?" the panda shouted.

"Oh no, it's a wild animal!" Ryoke exclaimed, "And it's going to attack fuzzy_bunny!"

"No, that's GenSao!" said The Unknown DJ. Grabbing the rope that held fuzzy_bunny's harness, The Unknown DJ slid down and landed in between the panda and fuzzy_bunny. "It's okay GenSao, he's with me!" he said. The panda stopped in mid-snarl and looked at The Unknown DJ in surprise. After a moment, the panda grinned.

"It's my knight of the turntable!" said GenSao, huggling The Unknown DJ with great enthusiasm, "Thank goodness you're okay!"

"Thanks," The Unknown DJ managed to say, struggling to breathe in the panda's grip, "So... your security system was a portal that would instantly transport you here?"

"Of course! What better way to protect the fan fics than a giant panda?" GenSao laughed, still huggling The Unknown DJ with the strength of... well, of a giant panda.

"Well, it looks like fuzzy_bunny didn't botch the job after all," said BGlanders, sliding down the rope, "By activating that portal, he freed GenSao from the bad lemon!" The others slid down the rope one by one, until they were all standing with GenSao in the computer room.

"Um... GenSao? Can I ask you a question?" said Crikit as she released fuzzy_bunny from his harness. When GenSao nodded, she asked, "Well... it's just that I thought pandas couldn't talk. How is it that you can?"

"Well, I used to talk by holding up signs," said GenSao, "But that got tiresome after a while, so I asked the authors of this AFC bio to let me speak normally."

Everyone sweatdropped.

"Wait a minute!" Crikit exclaimed, her shout breaking the awkward silence, "What about Bob and Acid Tenchi?"

"Oh my gosh!" said GenSao, "They're still trapped in that lemon!" With that, the panda charged back into the open portal, and the rest of our heroes were quick to follow.

Bob and Acid Tenchi were surrounded by catgirls from various anime series. Not a single one of the catgirls had any clothes on.

"Can't... resist... much longer..." said Acid Tenchi, squeezing his eyes shut. That didn't help much, because the catgirls simply started licking his face and unbuttoning his shirt.

"Sorry ladies, but I'm just not interested," Bob was saying, sandwiched firmly between Annapuma and Unipuma, "I've... um, I've got bottles to wash, and... um..." He trailed off when they started purring and rubbing against him. "Help..." he squeaked.

GenSao snarled and charged into the crowd, fighting his way towards his two friends. Several moments later, he came charging back out of the crowd, this time with Bob and Acid Tenchi slung over his shoulders.

"Let's get out of here!" Kale-chib-ki exclaimed.

Everyone ran towards the portal. The catgirls shouted in dismay and began to give chase.

"Come back, GenSao!" the catgirls called, "We think black and white fur is soooo sexy!"

In one of those delightful instances of bad timing that sadistic fan fic authors love to use, the portal leading back to the TMFFA Kingdom suddenly disappeared.

"Oh, @#$%^&%$#!!!!!" our heroes screamed.

"Hey!" PA shouted, "How many times do I have to @#$%ing tell you?! Just because I %^$#ing talk like that, doesn't mean that you-" He was cut off as several nude catgirls threw themselves at him. Blood streamed out of PA's nose and he passed out.

"Thank you!" Lost Magi exclaimed, having had enough of PA's constant swearing.

"Oh, don't thank us yet," the catgirls purred, "The fun's just beginning..."

O_O;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;