Jaf woke up a little later that morning than usual. He had a few more dreams, a few more hours, a few less bags under his eyes when he woke up. His day was greeted by a good stretch and a long, satisfying yawn rather than the normal screams and explosions. If one were to judge it only from the first few minutes, it was shaping up to be a pretty good day for ole Jaf, the now defunct president of the AFC.

But then he smelled it.

The putridness, the rottenness, the sourness. Slowly, his eyes became wide with realization and his heart started speeding up. He turned slowly to the window, his mouth widening in a silent scream of terror. Terror, for this quiet, this peace, this serenity this early in the day could only mean one thing, one evil, despicable, mind numbing thing, the only thing that could bring about this much silence, this defening, deplorable (yet strangly satisfying) silence.

"Oh ... oh no!! ... LEMONS!!! SOUND THE ALARM!!! SOUND THE ALARM!!!"

Jaf dashed outside of his room, bolting into the cafeteria, hitting the counter and banging on the waxed finish loudly. "WAKE UP!!! WAKE UP!!! LEMONS!!! HENTAI!!!!"

Nothing. Not a sound.

But then ... softly ... off somewhere in the distance ...

"oh baby ... give it to me ... you filthy animal ..."

"No!" Jaf scorched off to the double doors which opened to the kingdom village and opened them wide, with a huge crash as the hinges strained and the wood cracked from Jaf's Hulk-like strength (which comes only when Jaf gets really angry, or goes into one of his lemon fits).

Then it hit him. The sounds! The screaming! The sights! And worst of all the smell!

"AHHHH!!!" Jaf screamed, falling back at the sheer force of it, the smell knocking him backwards, making him fall to the ground. "Must ... fight!" he gasped, putting his hands to his nose. "Must .... stop ... smell!" And then, with a great force (hey, you ever get lemon juice in your nose? Well then shut up!) he jammed his nostrils deep into his armpits. "Dang ... too ... much ... Rightguard!"

And then he was gone, lost to the smell, lying limp, his breaths getting weaker and weaker, his heart beat slowing and slowing. He was dead to the world, the smell killing him, destroying him with his ideals and his freewill. He was dead.

That is until a group of female AFC members ran by. "Hey, let's go have a lesbian orgy ... I mean ... no wait, I still mean lesbian orgy."

"Lesbian orgy?!" Jaf said, bolting upright. "Alright! Hey ladies, wuzzup?!"

Matthew Harrison jogged brightly across the great plains of Lemonwood, towards his forest home. He whistled a bright happy tune and listened to the birds chirp back-up. Aw, it was a wonderful day. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping happily, the smell of the fresh, spring air combined with that sweet wet dog smell was just magical in the-

Wait a second.

"Hello," a droopy looking dog greeted him droopily.

"Peewuu!" Matthew sneered, putting two fingers up to his nose.

"I'm sorry," the dog apologized droopily. "I am Lazidog and I want to join the Aeka fan club."

"Well you're going to have to go to the Palace for that. They take care of all the technical stuff."

"You mean the yellow place?"

"Yeh the yellow place, now get the heck outta- Wait a minute. Did you say yellow place?"

"Yeh," the dog nodded, looking over to the right, where right out in the open, not a quarter mile away, the AFC kingdom could be seen surrounded by a humungous yellow aura, men and women jumping around like fools right outside the gates, doing things....

Nasty things....

Lemony things....

"OH MY GOD!!!" Matthew screamed. "THE AFC KINGDOM IS OVERCOME WITH LEMONY SOURNESS!!!"

Lazidog and Matthew looked at each other for a second, and then back to the kingdom.

"YIPPEE!!! Matthew yelled joyously, jumping high and knocking his ankles together in the air. "SOUNDS LIKE GREAT FUN!!!"

But then he stopped himself.

"Wait a minute. If the AFC is overcome by lemony sourness, that means that everyone would be just like the people at Lemonwood. And if everyone was just like the people at Lemonwood, Lemonwood would cease to be!! There would be no more knights of Lemonwood forest!!!! And if there's one thing I hate more than the extinction of lemons everywhere, it's a buncha novices getting into Lemonwood, messing things up! I'm outta here," Matthew said dramatically dashing for the forest to warn his Lemonwood thieves.

"ALL HANDS OUTSIDE NOW!!" Matthew screamed from atop a high tree branch in the center of the great forest. "CALLING ALL LEMONWOOD THIEVES!!!"

Down below, a door busted open out of an oak lemon tree and out popped Daniel, tripping over the root as he came out, stumbling toward his position in the line up. The line up which consisted of all the Lemonwood thieves, standing proudly and awaiting orders from their master, the great Matthew Harrison. Of course, there was just one lemon thief, but who asked you?

"Alright men! SOUND OFF!!"

"One!" Daniel shouted.

"Good. Alright men, we've got a major mission ahead of us today. I don't want you to alarm you men, but the stability and honor of the entire kingdom, perhaps even the entire world is resting on our shoulders."

"Since when are we about honor and stability, sir Matthew?"

"SINCE TODAY!!" Matthew said angrily. "Anyway, the kingdom seems to have been overcome with lemony sourness, and everyone is acting all freaky and perverted!"

"WHOO HOO!!" Danny shouted. "SOUNDS LIKE FUN!!!"

"NO IT'S NOT FUN!!!" Matthew scolded him. "This is a dire situation! This lemon sanctuary will be no more if lemons are allowed to run amuck and destroy every other civilization! For this place to even exist, its counter, the AFC Kingdom, must be standing tall, for isn't this whole forest, this whole sanctuary about the freedom of speech and expression?! If lemons are everywhere, no one has the freedom anymore. And besides, I can't just let everyone be a lemon knight! Wouldn't be right."

"Yeh," Daniel agreed, "but who's that?"

"Who's who?" Matthew glanced to his right. "AHHHH!!!" Matthew gave out a startled shriek and lost his footing, plummeting twenty feet to the forest floor below.

"Sorry," Lazidog murmered from the tree branch.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!!" Matthew shouted.

"I want to join the Lemonwood thieves."

"You can't! You're just a dog!! And besides, you have to be a part of the AFC!"

"Can I join the AFC?"

"You're gonna have to wait until me and my noble thieves (::author's note:: if there really is such a thing ::author's note::) take care of the situation!"

"But there's only two of you."

Matthew looked around. "Well . . . yes. But there used to be more! At least I think there used to be more. Weren't there Danny?"

"I don't know, sir. The members plotline is a little sketchy on that one."

"Well, anyway, it's not quantity that counts, but quality! We're all that is needed to take care of the situation!"

"Wait a minute," Lazidog said. "If you two are the only lemon thieves, then does that mean you've been out here being lemony with each other this whole time?"

Matthew and Daniel looked at each other for a second. "EWWWW!!!! NO OF COURSE NOT!!!!"

"That's it!" Matthew shouted. "We're outta here! Danny get the radiation suits! We've got a kingdom to save!!"

Matthew and Daniel looked about themselves solemnly. Well, at least Matthew did. Danny was drooling right through his oxygen tank (didn't someone once say you can take the baka out of Lemonwood but you can't take Lemonwood out of the baka?).

"There!" Matthew shouted, pointing towards the lemon sprouting Ryu-oh. "That's our target! Now, all we've got to do is pull all of the lemons off of her majesty's tree and then the spell will be destroyed! But how to get all the way up to the branches... The tree's over fifty feet tall, way too large for us to just climb. And we can't chop her majesty's tree down. Wouldn't be proper."

"Uh sir?" Daniel said, getting his attention.

"What is it man?! I'm trying to think!"

"Your leg sir."

Matthew looked down and did a huge face fault. "GET OFF ME!!!" he said, yanking Lazidog off and throwing him away.

"Sorry," Lazidog said. He was also equipped with a dog size radiation suit (which just happened to be in the Lemonwood thieves' storage, and no you can't know why), but it seemed as though the lemony setting was a bit too much for him.

"Master!" Daniel shouted.

"What is it?" Matthew asked.

"What about Princess Aeka?!!"

"By God you're right! What about our dear princess?! You don't think...???"

"Gentlemen," Princess Aeka called to them from behind, equipped with her own radiation suit (deep purple with stylish flowers outlining the sides and a cute pink bow on the top, of course).

"Oh, thank goodness you're ok!!"

"That's quite alright. I was just getting up this morning, when I looked out my window and saw what was going on. I immediately grabbed my radiation suit, which I always keep on standby. I got it on just in the nick of time. Oh well, I'm going to bed. Make sure you take care of this situation quickly, sir Matthew."

"Of course Princess," Matthew said bowing. "Jeez, I wonder why she was here just when we showed up?"

"I don't know," Daniel said. "It's almost like she just showed up to assure everyone that she was taking no part in the shananigans going on and then left to get out of the way."

"Hmm."

"Sir, your leg."

"LAZIDOG!!!"

"Sorry."