Lost Magi

Somewhere in the real world, a fan fic writer who called himself the "Man of Original Ideas" sat in front of his computer. He was reading the latest installment of the ongoing Ayeka Fan Club story, and enjoying every minute of it.

"Aw, man," he said to himself between laughs, "What next? All these fan fic writers sure must be having a blast, poking fun at themselves like that! I wish I could, too!"

Just then, in one of those bizarre coincidences that only happen in silly stories such as this one, there was a bright flash of light, and a man appeared in front of the fic writer, hovering in the air above his computer.

Words would fail in describing this being. That, or perhaps the authors of this member profile are afraid of being sued. Suffice it to say that the newcomer had a god-like air to him, or at least the air of someone who considered himself to be god-like.

The fic writer, being a fan of a certain TV series, recognized the strange being immediately. "Q!" he exclaimed, "B-but... how?"

"Now, if I told you, then that would spoil the fun, wouldn't it?" Q said, grinning, "Oh, what the heck: I was wandering about 20th century Earth when I discovered anime. Even more interesting, though, are the fan fic authors who worship it. I've decided that you'll be the latest player that I'll add to the little game that I've got going... I believe you know it as the AFC members story? Congratulations, you're about to get your wish..."

"Noooooo!" the fic writer shouted in terror, as he felt himself being sucked into the computer monitor. He suddenly understood what was going on, and he did the only thing he could do, which was to deliver an overly dramatic monologue: "Those fan fic authors... AleeN, Lesell Charis, Literary Eagle, and all the others... they're not writing about themselves, Q put them into the story for real! He's turned them into fic characters, and I'm next!" That was the last thing he said before he lost consciousness.

Meanwhile, somewhere around Lemonwood Forest, Lesell Charis and the rest of her party were about to enter Kagato's fortress.

K'thardin casually made a cigarette materialize in his hand, and began to smoke it.

"Y'know, Cyraqs," Literary Eagle said to him, sounding concerned, "You really should break that habit, it's not healthy."

"Who do you think you are, my mother?" K'thardin retorted.

"Nah," said AleeN, "If she were your mother, then Brazil would be hitting on her right now..."

K'thardin angrily spat out the cigarette, and AleeN was barely able to dodge it in time. "KAAAAMMMMEEEE..." K'thardin began.

"Uh-oh!" said Ranma, searching for cover.

"HAAAMMMMMEEEE..."

"Oh great goddess Belldandy, protect us!" Lesell prayed, "Except for AleeN!"

"What?!" AleeN exclaimed.

"He won't be happy unless he blasts you!" Lesell explained, as a magical shield surrounded everyone except for AleeN and K'thardin.

"HAAAAAAAA!!!!!" K'thardin released a ki blast that sent AleeN flying into the fortress. From somewhere inside came the sound of AleeN screaming various obscenities that won't be repeated here.

"Shobu da Kakarot!" Ranma mumbled, rolling his eyes.

"We'd better go find him," said Lesell, stepping into the fortress. Everyone began to follow her inside.

_Gee, no wonder Brazil fled the Kingdom when the opportunity came up,_ Amuro thought to himself. He shuddered at the memory of K'thardin's reaction to the robot that had destroyed the priceless book he had found. Talk about overreacting! K'thardin's transformation had completely ruined the shirt and jacket he had been wearing... although K'thardin had willed a new outfit onto himself afterwards. Come to think of it, why did that black outfit look so familiar?

"Um... Cyraqs? What's with the outfit?" Literary Eagle asked, as if reading Amuro's thoughts, "You look like Luke Skywalker in Return of the Jedi!"

"It's a costume I was saving for Tsunami-chan," said K'thardin, "I was hoping that one of these days I could dress up for her, so that we could enjoy a little fanta-"

"COOL!!!" Amuro and Ranma exclaimed, before he could even finish.

"Tsunami," said Ranma, imitating K'thardin's voice, "Since Emperor Palpatine wiped out most of the Jedi, we need to create more... as quickly as possible. Do you want to start now, or do you want to clean your teeth first?"

Lesell and Literary Eagle groaned and rolled their eyes.

Literary Eagle then looked at K'thardin's costume more carefully. "Hey, look!" she laughed, snatching a metal cylinder from his belt, "He even has a toy lightsaber!"

"Um, actually," said K'thardin, "It's a toy, but it's not a lightsaber..."

"Huh?" said the prophetess, blinking in confusion.

K'thardin whispered something into her ear, and she exclaimed, "Oh, that is so disgusting!" She threw the cylinder back at him.

Lesell sighed and shook her head.

Eventually, Lesell and the others reached a large hallway with a reflective floor.

"Hey, there's AleeN!" said Ranma, pointing at the floor.

Sure enough, AleeN was upside-down, a part of the reflection on the floor. "I can't get out of here!" he shouted.

"You got him into this," Lesell said to K'thardin, "Now what?"

"We'd better go in after him," K'thardin replied. With that, he teleported everyone into the reverse world to join AleeN.

"Look at what I found!" said AleeN, once everyone was with him. He pointed to a large crystal. Inside the crystal was a young man, who didn't seem to be moving. On the crystal was a sign which read: "A Man of Original Ideas. Imprisoned for unusual writing methods."

"Should we let him out?" asked Ranma.

In yet another one of those bizarre coincidences that only happen in silly stories such as this one, the 'toy' on K'thardin's belt came off and hit the floor. The cylinder began to vibrate wildly.

"Oh, that is so disgusting!" Lesell exclaimed, glaring at K'thardin.

"Told ya," said Literary Eagle.

The vibrating cylinder wobbled over to the crystal and bumped into it, causing the crystal to vibrate until it shattered, freeing the young man inside.

"Q, this isn't funny!" the man said hoarsely, as he coughed and tried to stand straight.

"What's a Q?" asked AleeN.

"A letter of the alphabet?" said Lesell, shrugging.

"Hey, are you okay?" Amuro asked the man. "Y-yeah, I think so..." he said.

"What did you mean by 'Q'?" asked Ranma.

"Huh? Q?" said the man, holding his head, "Um... I-I can't remember... But I think my name is Lost Magi..."

Meanwhile, K'thardin's mind was racing. _Q?_, he thought to himself, _That nutcase I went to high school with? How can this be? Come to think of it, why do we even have references to Star Trek and Star Wars in this members profile? They aren't anime!_

"Actually," said Q, materializing in front of K'thardin, "There are numerous anime references in Star Trek: The Next Generation, and there happens to be a manga adaptation of Star Wars, so technically it's all right!"

"What are you up to now, 'Class Clown'?" K'thardin growled at him.

"Who are you talking to, Cyraqs?" said Literary Eagle, looking at K'thardin. She didn't seem to be able to see Q.

Just then, Lost Magi pointed at something and exclaimed, "Look out!"

Two gigantic snakes had appeared at the end of the hall, and were making their way towards them.

"Aw, crap!" said AleeN, taking out his sword.

Lost Magi suddenly transformed into a humanoid with silver eyes. "Get ready, everyone!" the new version of Lost Magi exclaimed.

"A... darkelf?" said K'thardin, looking at the transformed man in amazement.

"This promises to be amusing," Q laughed, beginning to fade away, "By the way, Cyraqs, see you at the reunion!"

Everyone blinked in confusion when K'thardin suddenly facefaulted for no apparent reason.

"Do you know if there's a way for us to just get out of here?" AleeN asked Lost Magi, as the snakes drew closer.

"Um..." said Lost Magi, thinking hard, "Uh... I can't remember! I think I just realized why I'm called LOST Magi..."

This time EVERYONE facefaulted.