Historian's Notes: This is a continuation of the Lemon Tree/Spankachu plotline started in MoonPrincess and continued in Lazidog, Richard Powell, the Ken-Ohki's, and Nuriko. OddRyouga had turned Ayeka's space tree Ryu-Oh into the Tree of Lemon, which, in addition to ecchifying the AFC Kingdom and its inhabitants, turned Sasami's pet Pikachu into the hentai pokemon Spankachu. The AFC Kingdom has just recently restored Ryu-Oh to its pre-Tree of Lemon form, only to find a stranger threat at its doorstep...
MissingNo immediately follows the Ken-Ohki's.

Suddenly, the ground started to quake, like a huge explosion happened not too far away.

"What was that?!" Jaf yelled, trying to keep his balance.

"SPANKACHU!!!" a monster's voice suddenly roared.

"Great!" Jaf grumbled amidst the commotion. "First a hentai plague and now, from the sound of that roar, a bad pokemon joke is going to kill us all. This is *not* going to look good on my performance report."

"We have performance reports?" everyone asked in unison.

"Uh, forget I said that," Jaf said, sweating nervously. "Why don't we find out what caused that? Okay, who's with me."

The crowd shouted, "Someone else!"

Not exactly the most encouraging thing to hear. And the thick dust cloud rapidly enveloping the retreating crowd was disheartening. However, the three silhouettes in the dust cloud offered a ray of hope. The cloud thinned, until Miss Ryoko, Sephiroth Strife, and Nekobus could be seen. Of course, Sephiroth's Aero spell had much to do with the dispersing cloud.

"Boy, am I glad that you stayed. I knew I could count on you three to do what's right."

"I won't miss a part in which I'm not a running joke," Sephiroth whispered ominously, caressing the hilt of his double-bladed staff.

Um, right. (The author burns all of his Sephiroth Strife and FASDAR jokes, as he does not want to be a writer-kabob).

"I'm sure that Miss Ayeka's at the bottom of this. I'll stop whatever scheme she's planned and arrest her," Miss Ryoko stated matter-of-factly.

Jaf resisted the urge to compare Miss Ryoko's efficiency in capturing Miss Ayeka to Zenigata's success in capturing Lupin III. For the lay otaku, this means she's got a snowball's chance in HFIL.

"And you?" Jaf asked Nekobus.

"Morbid curiosity." Not to mention bills. Replacing a moon vaporized by a Tokimi Slave tended to leave one poor and destitute. Unless a lot of money could be raised quickly...

"Well, come on, let's get going," Jaf said.

The quartet ran towards the epicenter of the quake.

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(Author's note: The preceding event is an example of "foreshadowing," a subtle hint to future plots. A common literary device, it is used in the place of "making things up as you go," which we assure you never, ever happens in this author's parts. Honest.

Remember: "Foreshadowing," your guide to quality fanfiction.)

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Out in the Web Wide Wasteland...

MissingNo stopped and wiped his brow. Man, was it hot in the desert. He stared off at the horizon. There, shimmering in the desert heat, lay Shangra La, Avalon, Eden, the paradise he was searching for, where swords were beaten into plowshares and they studied war no more.

He blinked. The image stopped shimmering, revealing the shining walls to be the AFC Kingdom.

Drat.

Oh well, it'll do.

Now, before you scream for the writer's head on a pike (only $49.95 in the AFC Gift Shop) let me explain something. Please. MissingNo is a pokemon, and one of the few that resembles a human. Not just that, he's a ghost pokemon. Suffice to say he tends to stand out in a crowd, especially when he wears his basic black outfit sans pearls. And since humanity's basic instinct upon seeing anything even the slightest bit different is to reach over to the gun cabbit, er, cabinet and empty a double-barreled shotgun, an Uzi, six-shooter, and/or Gatling gun (often all at once) at the unlucky victim, MissingNo had often been forced into flight-or-fight mode, usually doing both at the same time. Maybe it was not human nature. Maybe it was due to all the pokemon games MissingNo had accidentally crashed. Who knew? He never bothered to stay long enough to find out. After all, when the town fathers start saying, "a riot is an ugly thing, but I think it's about time we had one," it is officially time to leave town. Fast.

So with malice towards none, friendship for all, and a steady eye on the emergency exits, MissingNo walked past the rockin' guardhouse without knocking and into the AFC Kingdom.

Straight into Sephiroth Strife, who immediately cast Comet. Looks like someone's not it a good mood.

Fortunately for the AFC Kingdom, Sephiroth Strife was unable to summon the world-ending asteroid he wanted.

"Sorry, Ayeka switched the Comet materia with a Cure materia," Jaf apolgized.

"With all the would-be Lina-and-Goku's running around, she wanted to make sure no one could destroy the Kingdom on accident or on purpose. You just can't be too careful these days."

Nekobus paled upon the sound of "would-be Lina." Okay, maybe he overreacted by using a Tokimi Slave against that dragon...

"We have a visitor," Miss Ryoko sing-songed.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Didn't mean to ignore you. I'm Jaf, and this is Nekobus, Sephiroth Strife, and Miss Ryoko. And you are?" Jaf asked.

"The latest would-be Lina-and-Goku," MissingNo said with a toothy smile.

"Uh, welcome to the AFC Kingdom," Jaf said, sweatdropping.

Miss Ryoko and Nekobus chuckled at the former president's embarrassment. For a brief moment, a slight smile flashed across Sephiroth Strife's face.

"Hi, I'm MissingNo, but you can call me 'MG,'" MissingNo said grinning.

"CHU!!!"

Another tremor shook the AFC Kingdom, followed by a shout of "We won't let you have her!"

"What's going on?" MissingNo asked.

"That's what we're going to find out," Sephiroth Strife monotoned.

"You're welcome to join us," Miss Ryoko said, nervously trying to find the source of the tremors.

"Sure," MissingNo shrugged.

The quintet set off, carefully approaching the area that seemed to be Ground Zero for the quakes. As they walked past the sign announcing the future site of "H.S.I.O. Wednesday," Nekobus' mind was rapidly considering how he could raise enough money to replace that moon.

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(Author's note: Did you catch that? "Foreshadowing," a sign of a creative, vibrant mind, as opposed to someone who, for instance, is ripping off Bloom County with this bit.)

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It did not take long for Jaf and his hastily assembled band of irregulars to find the source of the disturbances. All they had to do was follow the strands of clichéd spaghetti-western music to where Spankachu and Richard Powell were staring each other down. Both had the look of gunslingers ready to duel. Spankachu was even wearing a black cowboy hat (shiny leather, of course). Huddled together in the middle of no-man's land were Chan Makibi and Sasami.

Spankachu, upon hearing footsteps, turned, hissing at the newcomers. While it was distracted, the mighty dragon Richard cast Laser Breath at Spankachu.

It missed.

The shiny leather rat leapt out of the energy beam's path, landing on the roof of a nearby building. It chattered angrily at the AFC members in Pokemonese.

"Does anyone understand what it's saying?" Sephiroth Strife asked.

"My great-great-grandmother was a Dragonite. She was the black sheep of the family. I remember a few words here and there that she taught me, but not much," Richard Powell offered. "Trust me, I don't know what it's saying, but I think you don't really want to know."

"I think I get the gist of what Spankachu's saying," Nekobus groaned as Spankachu gestured obscenely.

MissingNo sighed. "I know what he's saying.

"You're putting me on," Miss Ryoko replied.

"I meant it. I can understand what he's say as if we were speaking the same language."

"What? How can you do that?"

Conveniently, a nearby pokedex opened. "MissingNo. Pokemon number 152. Distorts reality with disastrous results. If you see one run! MOMMY, I DON"T WANT TO DIE!!!"

"My reputation precedes me," MissingNo sighed again. "I swear, I didn't mean to crash the Red, Blue, and Yellow dimensions."

"Don't worry, you'll fit in here. We've already smashed the forth wall and at least a dozen dimensions into dust," Sephiroth Strife said. "We could use the help. We're behind on our quota."

"Chu!!!" (Enough already!)

"What's it saying, MG?" Nekobus asked.

"Hold on a moment," MissingNo said to Nekobus. Then, turning to Spankachu:

"Okay, what's going on?... ...Oh, I see. You don't really think they'll let you do that, do you?... ...Nope, they won't buy that... ...Sorry, they're not giving her to you without a fight... ...You want to do what?! Oh well, it's your funeral. May I suggest making out a will?"

"What did he say?!" everyone shouted.

"He wants Sasami, and to get her, he's willing to fight four of our best fighters to get her."

Sasami turned to Miss Ryoko. "Should I be flattered?" the princess asked dryly.

Jaf laughed derisively. "Spankachu, if you want Sasami bad enough that you're willing to challenge four of our best warriors, you're welcome to try," he taunted.

As soon as he finished speaking, a column of blue light shot out from one of the buildings and into the sky. This was accompanied by a divinely loud voice saying; "It is agreed."

Everyone turned to the now pale Jaf in shock, bewilderment, and disgust.

"Well." MG said, turning to Sephiroth Strife.

"What?" Sephiroth answered.

"What do we call what just happened?"

"I'd say either a major disaster or another stolen bit from Bloom County."

"No, foreshadowing!" MissingNo said, exasperated.

"Well, sorry, but I never read author's notes," Sephiroth Strife snapped.