by Lesell Charis
Sepiroth Strife, was a good-looking guy. Blessed with a shock of long blond hair and green eyes, he had a certain aura of wonder about him. Looking at him now, sitting quietly in the bar gazing with inquisitive eyes, he gave the world the impression of a nice, decent young man.
One wouldn't think he was a hired killer.
But he was. A petty man, selling his soul over a few measly dollars. Well, a lot of measly dollars... actually. So, it was worth it.
Or at least he would keep telling himself that.
He drowned the beer in a gulp and gazed at the aged bartender. He had a feeling this alcoholism of his was due to a reason... he stared at the man through blurred eyes. Somehow, the bald little man looked familiar. He briefly wondered if this man was his contact. The bartender looked at him and winked.
Sepiroth Strife looked behind him. The bartender winked again, then smiled. Sepiroth swallowed and sweatdropped. [What was it with this old guy...?] He thought to himself. [Is he some sort of ---]
"Beer?" The old man offered him a refill.
Sep Strife nodded weakly and was refilled. There it was. He inhaled and stated gruffly. "Ahem, I saw you smiling at me, was it real or just my fantasy...? You'd always be in the corner, of this tiny little bar..."
The bald little man blinked "what?!"
Seph blinked. "Um... I mean... " Sep coughed. "You are my contact, right?right?"
"Oh right... well, m'boy, yes and no yes and no..."
Seph looked at the man, the old guy had a weird gleam in his eye. A cream coloured envelope was passed to Sepiroth, and he took it, cautiously.
The old man looked around and said under his breath, "that's you're next target..."
Sepiroth slid the photo out and spat out a trail off beer on it, then stacked it off his chair. Seph spluttered. "But that's a... monkey!!"
The old man silenced him with a sharp glare. "Not just a monkey. That's... FASDAR."
Seph just stared at the photo in disbelief.
The old man, got back down to business. "Rumour has it, this so called monkey-boy is a genius in disguise..." He paused, dramatically. "More importantly, though..." He shot a quick glance around, to make sure he wasn't being overheard. "He has... a hoard of..."
Sepiroth braced himself.
"lovely lovely panties!!" he cackled gleefully.
"What!!?"
"Now m'boy, I don't have time to get them myself... so I'm sending you. Seek and Destroy. And get me those panties." He pushed the half drunk Sepiroth out of the bar. "He's located in the Ayeka Kingdom..." A small pill was pushed into his hand. "Use this if you need to, you'll know when." The old lecher got a dreamy look on his face, then looked serious. "Don't come back till you have those panties!!"
*boot*
A bewildered Sepiroth Strife made his way to the Ayeka kingdom. As luck would have it, FASDAR, was sitting outside, drinking something from a can and chanting. "Coke Coke coke coke coke"
Seph looked at him. [That's a genius?]
"Eeek Coke eeek coke... Urp"
Seph sighed. He was getting a headache. He eyed the pills in the bracelet. Looked like aspirin. Smelt like aspirin. He popped one out, and took it. Then knelt as he took out his rifle and pointed it at simian boy. Looking down the scope of his gun he froze. He felt very odd, suddenly. He gazed at Fasdar, while the monkey sorted through a bag of undergarments.
Meanwhile back at the bar, the bald little lecher sat, contemplating. He clutched a bracelet to himself. "I gave up the day love pill, but it was worth it." He cackled. "Once Sepiroth gives this love pill to Fasdar, monkey-boy will be so in love with him he'll hand the panties over willingly." He sighed dreamily. "All those wonderful panties, what a haul, what a haul!"
Back at the outskirts of the Ayeka kingdom, Seph watched Fasdar intently. He sighed. "Ohhh, How can I kill such an incredibly cute simian?"
So Happi's plan didn't quite go the way it was supposed to... oh well, Seph was happy. ^_^