WWPRish

The man slipped silently through the trees of Lemonwood Forest, hoping that he wasn't going in the wrong direction. His friend Ken had been captured by Kagato, but the man wasn't stupid enough to try and rescue him on his own. He needed help, and he was on his way to the Kingdom he had heard so much about, to ask for assistance. "C'mon, WWPRish," the man said to himself, "You can move faster than this!" The man picked up his pace a little, hoping that he wouldn't be too late.

Meanwhile, Lesell Charis and the rest of her party were trekking through Lemonwood, on the way to Kagato's fortress to rescue Richard Chilson. A cold gust of wind suddenly blew in, and the rescue party inexplicably found themselves in the midst of a frozen wasteland. The forest that had surrounded them just a moment before was now nowhere to be seen.

"What happened?!" exclaimed Amuro.

"This is Kagato's doing," said K'thardin, "He's going to try everything he can to stop us from reaching his fortress. I saw this in a dream..."

"Well, if you knew that this was gonna happen," Literary Eagle interrupted, "Then why didn't you tell us?"

"Hey," K'thardin replied, "You're the prophetess! I didn't want to take your job away from you!"

"Er..." was all Literary Eagle could manage in response.

"Let's just keep going," Lesell said firmly, "We have to reach the fortress sooner or later."

And so, the rescue party marched across the bitterly cold terrain. The first time they stopped to rest, all the men in the party held a competition to see who could do the best job of writing his name in the snow, but Lesell and Literary Eagle quickly put an end to that via threat of a major clobbering by several impressively-sized mallets.

Once the party was on the move again, however, the men didn't see any reason not to talk amongst themselves to try and select a winner.

"AleeN definitely did a neater job than K'thardin," said Ranma.

"Yeah, but AleeN doesn't have an apostrophe in his name!" K'thardin protested, "You need really good aim, not to mention nerves of steel, in order to-" His argument was cut short when the men all had to duck from several mallets that got flung their way.

The party continued to march, and Lesell eventually got thirsty and took out several flasks of homemade sake, offering some to Literary Eagle, who was walking beside her. Evidently, priestesses these days learned more than just how to pray to anime deities.

As the two women began to drink, Adidas whispered to them, "Hey, put that stuff away!"

So Lesell and Literary Eagle did put the sake away... by drinking it all. They kept marching, but did so rather crookedly, all the while drunkenly singing. "In other wooooooords," they wailed in totally off-key voices, "Please be truuuuuuue... in other words, I loooooove yooooooooouuuuuuuu!"

"Can't you just zap them or something?" Amuro moaned to K'thardin.

"The thought has crossed my mind a few times..." K'thardin muttered.

The travellers eventually had to stop again, in order to rest (and in the case of two of them, to get through some rather killer hangovers), and Ranma began looking for something to start a fire.

"Hey, let's use these," said Adidas, gesturing towards K'thardin, who was sleeping quietly while hovering about a foot above the ground.

"What are you talking about?" asked Ranma, moving closer to the sleeping man to investigate. He saw several papers sticking out of K'thardin's jacket. "I get it," said Ranma, "You mean our friend here has been keeping these papers under his jacket for insulation?"

"Must be," said Adidas, "and I don't see why we can't take a few to keep everyone warm." So Ranma and Adidas carefully removed a bunch of the papers, and Amuro took out a lighter and started a fire with them. Soon the camp was a much more pleasant place.

AleeN began to heat some food over the fire, and Lesell and Literary Eagle, now sober and more or less back to normal, sat by the fire with the others. K'thardin, not requiring as much sleep as most people, soon awoke and looked at what everyone else was doing. "Where did you get material for a fire?" he asked.

"We used some of those old papers of yours," said Ranma, "Hope you don't mind."

"M-my pictures!!!" K'thardin exclaimed, running to the fire and plunging his hand into the flames.

There were several moments of panicked shouts from the others, until they saw K'thardin withdraw his hand - unharmed - from the fire, clutching at some very badly burnt pieces of paper. His hand began to glow, and the others were astonished as the papers seemed to be magically restored to their original state. A few of them slipped from K'thardin's hand and fluttered to the ground.

Literary Eagle picked them up, and her eyes widened in disbelief when she saw what they were. "Hentai pictures?!" she exclaimed, "You've been collecting perverted drawings of Tsunami?!"

"COOL!!!" AleeN, Amuro, Ranma, and Adidas shouted, crowding around for a closer look.

Lesell sighed and looked at the sky. "Why me?" she groaned. Suddenly, an idea came to her. She was a priestess! Why didn't she try an incantation to speed up this horrid journey? "I call upon the great goddess Belldandy to deliver us from this frozen wasteland, so that we may save our friend from Kagato's clutches!" Lesell shouted at the sky.

"Adidas, it's for you." Literary Eagle said suddenly.

Adidas was about to ask what that meant, when suddenly a cellular phone materialized in the air beside him and rang loudly.

"Happy?" Literary Eagle said to her comrades, "I'm getting back into the prophetess gig, okay?"

Adidas grabbed the phone and answered it. "Hello?" he said, then listened to the speaker on the other end for several minutes. "Your request is being processed, Lesell." he finally said.

After a few moments, the frozen wasteland disappeared, to be replaced by the more familiar surroundings of Lemonwood Forest. The adventurers were about to let out a mighty cheer, but they remained silent when they saw the figure of a man slipping through the trees, heading in their direction.

Was it Kagato? Everyone readied themselves for battle, just in case. Lesell tensely gripped the ball that housed the creature known as Metroid. The stranger ran towards them. "Please! I need you to help me rescue my friend-" he began to say, but he stopped speaking and let out a startled yelp as he tripped on a rock and fell forward, one of his outstretched hands striking the ball in Lesell's hand.

"Metroid!" exclaimed the creature that emerged from the ball. "Metroid!" it shouted again, as it attached itself to the head of the fallen man.

"NO!!!" the others exclaimed, trying to pull Metroid off the man's head. Amuro finally managed to pry the creature off using Literary Eagle's oak staff. The prophetess groaned when she saw that her staff was now covered in mucous.

"Metroid..." the creature whimpered apologetically, floating away from Literary Eagle and hiding behind Ranma. "Are you okay?" Amuro asked the man.

"He'll be fine," K'thardin said, gazing down at the poor fellow.

"My... name... is... WWPRish..." the man groaned.

"How the heck is this supposed to introduce a new member?" AleeN muttered.